At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
God I need to hump something, right now.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
