In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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