i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
