so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
