Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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