Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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