Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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