Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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