i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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