I wanna passion pit in your ass
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
