Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
