I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
