Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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