so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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