So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
