it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
