ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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