You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
