went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
