U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
