hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.