if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.