Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
