She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
