Sry I called you an 8
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
