YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
