ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
