Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
