shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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