I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me