ADVERTISEMENT

• (310): View more from California

  Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.

  Fav 16 7398 1028

  share tweet
  

• (301): View more from Maryland

  he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.

  Fav 13 4774 1447

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Why am I even shocked you're doing this....

  Fav 11 6556 1462

  share tweet
  

• (716): View more from New York

  He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.

  Fav 6 3497 1354

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (440): View more from Ohio

  omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had

  Fav 28 1884 4347

  share tweet
  

• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.

  Fav 6 1611 763

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (865): View more from Tennessee

  We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1

  Fav 9 1037 800

  share tweet
  

• (234): View more from Ohio

  Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.

  Fav 3 1502 723

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.

  Fav 6 740 1183

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (718): View more from New York

  I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.

  Fav 5 1207 618

  share tweet
  

• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.

  Fav 3 789 782

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (330): View more from Ohio

  apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.

  Fav 5 1214 588

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight

  Fav 2 896 453

  share tweet
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?

  Fav 19 1015 518

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (806): View more from Texas

  You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing

  Fav 1 404 616

  share tweet
  

Randomize