Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  My room smells like vodka and shame

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  (312): My room smells like vodka and shame http://tfl.nu/t2bn
  Replies (7) Good night (1910) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?

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  (340): just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free? http://tfl.nu/81qf
  Replies (17) Good night (933) Bad night (1717)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?

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  (503): I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number? http://tfl.nu/ltxf
  Replies (55) Good night (3334) Bad night (1078)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep

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  (619): Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep http://tfl.nu/5i99
  Replies (21) Good night (1218) Bad night (2579)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon

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  (416): I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon http://tfl.nu/5ghl
  Replies (23) Good night (7506) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.

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  (706): She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night. http://tfl.nu/uc8q
  Replies (5) Good night (7062) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"

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  (215): Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober" http://tfl.nu/vzc2
  Replies (6) Good night (4066) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.

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  (206): Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it. http://tfl.nu/rqou
  Replies (9) Good night (1249) Bad night (2992)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.

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  (781): I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone. http://tfl.nu/b6do
  Replies (6) Good night (843) Bad night (1089)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.

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  (212): You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band. http://tfl.nu/ldj0
  Replies (10) Good night (2690) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.

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  (609): There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now. http://tfl.nu/la5k
  Replies (5) Good night (931) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard

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  (949): You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard http://tfl.nu/9s6s
  Replies (4) Good night (644) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.

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  (650): That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands. http://tfl.nu/y7oo
  Replies (2) Good night (287) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.

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  (+44): Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life. http://tfl.nu/3wcp
  Replies (4) Good night (1118) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.

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  (904): I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night. http://tfl.nu/zawb
  Replies (1) Good night (205) Bad night (466)

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