Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
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Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
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you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me