Texts From Last Night

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  (912): View more from Georgia

  That's intense

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  (912) That's intense http://tfl.nu/r7sa
  Replies (18) Good night (999) Bad night (900)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.

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  (724): I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong. http://tfl.nu/hgte
  Replies (48) Good night (883) Bad night (5841)
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  (408): View more from California

  Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand

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  (408): Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand http://tfl.nu/h440
  Replies (31) Good night (4900) Bad night (665)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM

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  (330): mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM http://tfl.nu/ia9w
  Replies (27) Good night (8644) Bad night (875)
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  (516): View more from New York

  doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine

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  (516): doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine http://tfl.nu/5fcf
  Replies (32) Good night (2520) Bad night (7239)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.

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  (732): Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day. http://tfl.nu/xpns
  Replies (29) Good night (6420) Bad night (2739)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Your godly.

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  (403): Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation. (1-403): Your godly. http://tfl.nu/7li2
  Replies (13) Good night (4255) Bad night (1105)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.

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  (770): We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere. http://tfl.nu/s422
  Replies (2) Good night (2143) Bad night (929)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.

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  (847): Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it. http://tfl.nu/tedk
  Replies (4) Good night (1293) Bad night (1324)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.

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  (563): he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on. http://tfl.nu/j2lo
  Replies (9) Good night (851) Bad night (1969)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home

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  (360): well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home http://tfl.nu/1sb0
  Replies (8) Good night (2844) Bad night (728)
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  (310): View more from California

  Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?

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  (310): Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic? http://tfl.nu/rudq
  Replies (14) Good night (512) Bad night (2832)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people

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  (610): At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people http://tfl.nu/kwkh
  Replies (2) Good night (543) Bad night (746)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.

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  (614): Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission. http://tfl.nu/x97b
  Replies (2) Good night (525) Bad night (604)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk

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  (253): Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk http://tfl.nu/8gkz
  Replies (2) Good night (348) Bad night (556)

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