Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.