You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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