just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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