my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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