Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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