There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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