first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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