i think my tv is drunk
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
