VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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