The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
