I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
