She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
