erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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