Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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