Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
