I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize