honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
