you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
