To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
