just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
