she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
