This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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