I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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