you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize