i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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