Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
