Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
