so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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